Am I being gaslit?
What is gaslighting and are you experiencing it?
In the work I do with relationships I see ALOT of gaslighting. Sometimes the clients recognize it and tell me that is specifically what they are looking for help with while other times it’s not so evident. Sometimes it even happens in the counseling room between the couple.
Simply put, gaslighting is being treated as if your experience is not valid and is completely delusional. The term originates from a 1938 British stage play called Gas Light in which a husband convinces his wife of an alternative reality which is harmful to her so that he can steal from her. Although the APA considers the term gaslighting to be colloquialism, it is sometimes used in clinical literature. Gaslighting first showed up in a clinical research paper "Gaslighting: A Marital Syndrome" (Lund and Gardiner, 1988). This research paper revealed how severe and manipulative negative treatment from individuals in a position of power, i.e. Gaslighting, can actually cause psychosis in the worst cases.
Nowadays the term gaslighting has gain a lot of prominence as more and more cultural shifts move toward self-confidence, individual actualization, and person-centered care. The term has the potential to be misused or overused and thereby reducing it’s potency when gaslighting is actually being experienced.
Here are 6 ways you can recognize gaslighting
Someone you are in a relationship with is constantly saying you did something you in fact did not do
Your partner says you are "too sensitive” or “you cry at everything” or constantly tells you to stop being so emotional
Someone has made up stories and experiences about you and then spreads these stories to important people in your life
Someone close to you claims something never happened that you have memories of
Whenever you open up and share about something that is bothering you, the other person rejects your perspective and tries to convince you of an alternative experience
Whenever you bring up difficult events from the past, someone always responds with “you had it so good, those were just a few isolated events.”
Are you experiencing gaslighting? Or perhaps you are realizing you do this to those are you. If this resonates with you, I would love for you to join Thrive. You can read all about it on my website here.
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